Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Ballot Language



Some people want to hide the taxi on your tongue. "Talk ballot language. No lies. Say either Yes or No." Stalling for time, you squeeze out a few more words about how some stupid asshole politician doesn't have a clue and probably will never have a clue even if someone handed him a magnifying glass to read all the answers, which only gets a pained look and you don't know what to do except to keep explaining what he said in the taxi looking to find weapons of mass destruction. Always maybeing. Call the Scheherazade help line. You like details, want to know the color of a ribbon on a dress, how the clouds were tacked in the sky, or the taste of macaroni and cheese as it clots on your tongue. Your big mistake is in believing other people want to hear the same thing. No, they don't, mouthwonk. Details confuse things. They hide the hedgerow. If you give a shunt, whoops, there goes the operation. Wheels and all. Check the macaroni. Blame technology. Blame Gatekeepers who need to hire more police officers for special events. Then it comes down to, “Do we have the money: Yes or No?” Check the square box. Run with the wolves. Hail a cabbie. Tell me the way to Happy Hour.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

This piece very much reminds me when people ask my opinion on something, and so I try to slip into some kind of common jargon and then they just shine my rhetoric on, even though they're the ones who asked.

Anonymous said...

Actually this is Paul who left that last comment.

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